


And now, which song shall I sing?

by soups



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-06 22:10:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6772279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soups/pseuds/soups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You and I, over the years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Konoha Akinori

**Author's Note:**

> Happy AkaKono Day (5/7)! ♡

 

First time I saw you, you were swarmed with Bokuto, Komi, and at least four other people. Actually, I didn’t know if I could call it "seeing" you, as all my eyes saw were your right ear and the back of your head. Your hair was a lot shorter back then, and it made tiny curls at its end. It looked cute.

I was about to do an attempt to save you—actually, I just wanted to know what made them so excited about, but before I could even try, you were able to get out of the mob by yourself. _Nice_ , I thought while immediately greeting, "Hello there!" I began walking as you turned your head, and I almost laughed at how your eyebrows formed a slight but visible expression I read as 'oh not _more_ of them.' Don't worry, little one, this senpai wouldn't hug you from behind from the first meeting unlike some certain person. "Sorry to tell you this on your first day, but he's just going to get worse after this," I said, eyeing you closely, trying to predict what you were going to say. Would it be an 'ah, I see', or would it be an awkward laugh?

But your actual reply surprised the heck out of me. "I can sort of sense it," was what you said in a deadpan tone, and I almost burst out laughing right then and there. Interesting! This new kid was interesting! Trying to keep my cool, I let out a series of chuckles instead, eyeing your rather expressionless face.

"You won't know the end of it," I said, having to bite my inner lip else my grin would break into laughter. I looked at you again, examining you closely with such a fascination. "So you're a new member, huh..." I mused, my sight traveled from your toes up to your head, and that was when my eyes met yours again, and your eyebrows furrowed a little under my gaze. "I'm Konoha, second year wing spiker. Welcome to the team!" I said, feeling your eyes looking closely at me. I answered them with a broadening smile.

"I'm Akaashi Keiji and I play as a setter. Please take care of me from now on," you replied politely, your stare still lingered on my face when my eyes widened. _Oh_. So that was why they—especially Bokuto—were so excited earlier.

"A setter? Nice," I said, putting my hands on my shorts' pockets, grinning. "After Minami-senpai graduated, our only setter right now is Shimano-san. Ah, that's him, by the way." I pointed to a black-haired man talking with Shirofuku at the other side of the gym. "Anyway, he's a third-year so he's graduating next year, and we have no setter in our grade, so!" I beamed toward you, extending my hand for a handshake. "Give me lots of good tosses from now on 'kay, Akaashi-kun?"

You looked a bit surprised for a second there, probably weren't used to this kind of greeting from a teammate. But you reached to my hand anyway, and I could feel rough, rather calloused palm and fingers meeting my own, the roughness of your arm somehow contradicted the calm and collected atmosphere you had on your face. Ah, you were a hard-worker, I thought, already feeling like I would entrust my spikes for your tosses.

"Akaashi! Hey! Akaashi, right?!" Our short, quiet moment of introduction was unfortunately interrupted by a loud owl head shouting all the way from across the court. Both of us turned our heads at the same time. "You said you're a setter right? Come toss for me!" Ah, typical Bokuto, I thought with a sigh. I could only form a grin at what happened afterward, namely him dragging not only you but Komiyan into this as well. I glanced at you just before you turned your head to me.

"Sorry, I guess duty calls," you said, almost without a tone. I let out a short chuckle as I run my fingers through my hair, amusement never left my face since the second I saw you. Man, you really were interesting!

"Good luck," I said, waving you a goodbye."And a word of advice, don't try to tire him out. You'll lose."

You turned your body afterward and started walking toward that pain in the ass Bokuto. I couldn't help but curving a smile looking at your back, thinking how well you'd fit into this team already.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ah, summer. The heat. The sun. The neverending sweat. Did I mention the heat, the sun, and the neverending sweat? Yes, summer was my least favorite season.

But well, at least all the volleyball activities—from inter-high tournament to the joint training camp—were a good compensation. This was my second year joining, and although it was exhausting and hot as hell, meeting other players from other schools and having matches with them was something I'd really enjoyed last year, and would enjoy again this year.

It was your first training camp, but you were adapting pretty quickly. As you were our only other setter, the coach figured this was a good chance to get you used to playing against the other powerhouse teams in the prefecture. Although it was hot and quite noticeably tiring you out, you never complained, not once. Aside from the matches and the self-practice, you also stayed up a bit later than scheduled sleep time to entertain Bokuto with five rounds of trump games. You woke up right on time the next day, albeit grumpily. When I first joined the camp, I passed out right after bath on the first day and almost didn't wake up the next morning thanks to all the exhaustion, so I wondered where you got all your energy from.

That was, until I saw your breakfast plate.

"A, Akaashi-kuuun?" I said, eyes shooting open at the mountain of food that was clearly not a breakfast portion—or any other meal of the day for that matter. "We're gonna practice right after this, you know?"

"I'm eating this much exactly because of that," you said in your usual deadpan tone, glancing at my plate. "I'm the one who wants to ask you how you get through this training camp with your breakfast..."

"This is normal, you know?! Please look at other people's plates, I'm telling you you're the one who has too much food," I said while slightly shaking my head, but my lips formed an amused smile instead.

"I beg to differ," you stated shortly. "He's got about the same amount of food as I do," you said, head slightly turning and finger pointing to... Ah, of course.

"Akaashi!" This was one of those moments when I asked myself 'what had I ever done in my previous life to have to hear this scream before 7 in the morning... for one whole week.' "And Konoha! Morning! You seriously need to eat more! Look at Akaashi!"

I shook my head while letting out a long sigh at the incoming Bokuto, deciding to ignore him as I turned my head to you. "Are you sure you want to compare yourself to this guy?"

Your lips, to my surprise, formed something that looked like a very slight smirk. "Sorry, Konoha-san, this time I side with Bokuto-san." Bokuto blinked his eyes.

"Eh? What? What are you guys talking about?" he asked, confusion shaped his whole face.

"Nothing," I answered, lips slowly shaping a smirk as well.

"Eeeeh!" he protested loudly as he pouted and turned his head to you. "Akaashi, you said you were on my side, didn't you! What was it all about!"

You gazed at me as if asking me what to say. All I gave you was a small shrug, and apparently that was what you'd decided to give to Bokuto too. It, of course, prodded him to protest some more, and prompted us grinning to each other. Well, I grinned at you and you gave me some sort of curve at the edges of your lips.

Heh, I really felt like I could get along with you.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Oh, nice work today," I greeted as the clubhouse's door opened and I saw you appearing from between the opening. "Your tosses today felt really good."

"Thank you. Good work today," you replied as you walked to your locker, not too far away from mine, opening it while wiping your forehead and cheeks with a towel. "I've been feeling pretty good lately."

"Yeah, how do I say it... Your tosses felt more and more precise lately," Sarukui chirped in as he sat down the bench, putting on his socks. I nodded along in agreement.

"Thank you, Sarukui-san. It feels good to toss to you too," you said with a barely visible smile. I'd always liked the slight expressions on your face, they were subtle but there was an art in finding the slightest movement of your eyes, of your eyebrow, of your lips. Your hair had gotten a bit longer from the start of the school year, although you'd kept it at a manageable, tidy length. That didn't help the curls at the end of some strands to stick out, though, and I'd never gotten bored from looking at them. Well, your overall appearance was... huh.

"Wait a minute," I said, my eyebrows furrowing as I stared at you some more. You turned your head to me with a questioning look while I began making my way toward you with increasingly thinning eyes plus a frown.

"Konoha-san?" you called, the puzzled look in your face was getting more apparent when I stopped and stood still beside you, placing my hand on your shoulder. I looked at you with an increasing seriousness on my face, which did not help your current state of confusion. "Is there... Anything I can help you with?"

"Akaashi," I said, voice firm. I could feel Komiyan and Sarukui in our immediate surrounding glancing at us every few seconds while doing their own thing. "You... What's your height right now?"

"Eh?" You blinked your eyes. "Last health check up, I was 174 cm."

"And how long ago was it?"

"Huh? October, I think?"

"I was 177," I said almost absentmindedly. "I was 177 in that check up..." I repeated, standing with my back straightened, staring at you from the top of your head to your torso down all the way to your feet, then quickly back up to your head. You stared at me with eyebrows furrowing by every second but not saying anything. It was Komiyan who broke the silence with a snort.

"Akaashi," he said when you turned your head to him, his face completely amused. "Looks like he's bitter 'coz you're taller than him now."

I frowned. "I'm not!" I retorted annoyedly. "Did you even grow? It might just be your socks."

"Ah, now that you say it," you said in reply, not answering my question, looking up while tilting your head a bit. "My mom said something about how I seemed taller after my birthday. She said it was like I grew overnight." I groaned.

"Dammit, you teenager! Stop growing! I don't want to be the shortest in this team! Komiyan doesn't count!"

"Oi, rude! I'm right here! And you're still a teenager too!"

Even without Bokuto, today was a lively day in the clubhouse as well, and was that a small curve at the edge of your lips I saw there?

 

 

* * *

 

 

You were _amazing_.

It was your first official match. It shouldn't have been, because Shimano-san was still our main setter and he was going to pass the baton to you as soon as the spring tournament was over. But he got hit by a ball on his head, and you were our only other setter. You, a first-year, debuted for your first official match in the Nationals.

I could feel the tenseness in you when you stepped into the court—heck, anyone would feel so if they'd been in your position. But I knew you could do it. No, I wasn't just saying it just to make you relax or something, but I really thought you could do it. I knew how hard you'd practiced, I knew how you always watched us closely both in practice and in matches. I knew you'd make sure you practiced with every one of our team's members to make sure you knew us well, you knew how we played. I knew you were under pressure because you felt like you were expected to be as great as Shimano-san who had two years more experience than you.

I wasn't standing in the court with you, so all I could do was to cheer on you with the others from the side. I wanted you to know that we were behind you, that we believed in you, that _I_ believed in you. So when you did so well in the last ten points of the last set, my smile was one of the proudest of them all.

"You really did it today," I said, tossing you a can of sports drink, which you caught with ease despite how unprepared you were. You slightly smiled.

"Thank you. It was because the others played so well," you answered humbly.

"Well, that too, but they wouldn't do so good if it weren't for your tosses."

"Well," you said, opening the can and taking a sip of it. "I'd settle with all of us playing well, then." I snorted.

"Where did that previous humbleness go," I said, laughing, circling my arms around your shoulders. They felt warm. There was a quiet pause between us as I felt your shoulders slowly tensing, and I grinned. "Well then!" I half-yelled, making you flinch a bit by the sudden raise of voice. "Thanks to you we're able to go to the next round now! I gotta get ready for my turn too."

You let out a short sigh to accompany the smile you were forming, turning your head to me. "I can't wait to toss to you, Konoha-san."

I felt my lips forming a smirk. "Oh? Should I tell Shimano-san you're eying for the main setter position now?"

Your eyes, although slightly, widened. "That's not—"

You sighed as I laughed along, messing your hair a little before leading you to the gym, where the rest of the team was waiting for you with the biggest smile on their faces.

 

 

* * *

 

 

This was the worst.

When it came to sports—or well, life in general, I guess—there were days where everything just seemed... off. The timing of the ball touching one's hand. The feeling one felt at the tips of their fingers. The slight slip one's shoes made against the floor. There was just something wrong with a little something and everything, some small unimportant things, and although one couldn't really pinpoint exactly _what_ , they could feel the effects as a whole.

That was how I'd been feeling all day today.

I didn't know what was it. It wasn't like there was anything wrong with my body, I'd been pretty healthy and no one in my class nor my family had some flu or something I could've caught. My social life was fine. My studies, well, my grades had been a bit above average ever since elementary school and it hadn't changed now. Yes, absolutely nothing had changed. There should've been nothing wrong with me.

Yet none of my spikes went through today.

It was so frustrating. Granted, we only had a regular practice today, but still. My hands didn't feel right. My fingers felt like they were out of place. My feet didn't move exactly as I wanted them to. Ugh. If I said these, they would sound like some sort of lame excuses at how bad I'd been playing today. And next week the inter-high would begin...

"Konoha-san." Your voice surprised me when I was lost in thought with tap water showering my face. I turned my head, startled, resulting in my shirt's collar getting splashed all over. Dammit. I turned off the tap, wiping my face while changing my expression to a grin.

"Oh, Akaashi. What's up?" I asked, attempting to sound normal. My mind tried to not think of it, but at the back of my head I knew you'd noticed the slight dejection on my actions. You'd always been a perceptive guy, after all.

"Is something the matter?" See? You'd really noticed, I really couldn't expect anything less from you. But still, what should I say? I had no excuse to be lame like this. Maybe if I acted normal you'd let this slide for once. I pulled the most surprised face I could make.

"What's that? Nothing's the matter, all's good!" I said lightly, waving my hand a little, letting out a laughter. Oh, that was actually pretty good. As expected from me.

"Please don't lie, Konoha-san, I know you're pretty good at lying but those spikes aren't." Ah, goddammit, this junior. You really weren't cute, were you? This was where you were supposed to say 'ah, is that so?' then offer something like 'well if I can help you with anything, let me know' and drop the topic right then and there. But then again, that would be uncharacteristic of you, huh, Akaashi? "I don't really want to butt into things that are not my business, but if there's anything I could do—"

"I'm okay," I cut your words, surprising even myself. I silently sighed at myself. 'If you couldn't lie your way out of it, then go all out and be completely honest', huh. I wonder who'd told that to me before. "I don't have things in my mind or anything, honest," I continued, my hands found their ways to each other, fingers playing and intertwining. "My studies are fine, my family is fine, my social life is fine—well I could use a girlfriend or something I guess but—" I paused for a chuckle. "Well, I don't have an excuse for how bad I've been all day today." Ah, it all came out so easily. I pulled a bitter smile at my own expense. "Which makes this super lame now, huh?"

You were quiet for a moment. I'm sorry this troublesome senpai had troubled you with his petty rant and now you didn't know what to answer. I was about to laugh my way out of there and turn my back to walk toward the gym when you suddenly said, "We all have that moment." I stopped moving completely mid-turn, my hands retreating to my sides. "I do, too," you added, you looked at me carefully as if reading my reaction to your every syllable. "Sometimes... Sometimes I just don't seem to know how to toss. Other times I can, but it just doesn't feel right. There doesn't have to be a reason. I guess our bodies just... do that."

I let out a discontent laugh. "Well, yeah, but—"

"Even Bokuto-san." This time it was you who cut my words. "Even Bokuto-san has those moments, and don't tell me you don't know that."

I fell silent for a moment. Well damn. It wasn't like I didn't know, but when you put it that way. _Damn_. It wasn't like we were arguing or anything, why did I feel like I'd just lost? "Yeah," I said, the grin on my face may look the same as the one I had seconds earlier, but this one wasn't forced. "Yeah, you're right, though it kinda hurts me to think I have whatever Bokuto has." I heard you snort quietly, and I had to chuckle along. "But yeah... You're right. Thanks, Akaashi."

"No problem," you said, I noticed a slight relief in your tone as your lips curved barely a smile. "If you need to talk about anything, I'm here to listen, most of the time."

I laughed. "Oi, you're supposed to say 'always' there!"

No matter how better I felt after talking to you, though, I still played pretty badly for the rest of practice. I guessed life wasn't as easy as that.

I was, however, in my top condition in inter-high a week later.

 

 

* * *

 

 

I was thinking of you when I saw you approaching me that day. God, it sounded so cheesy, but that was literally what happened.

It was Sunday, a week before Bokuto's birthday, and a little over two weeks before mine. Well, it wasn't like I was there to buy a present for him, I was there to look and shop around for myself. But you know, if there was something my eyes caught that I thought he would like, I'd probably get it for him, or something. The only problem was I could totally see Bokuto liking half the things here, so buying one wasn't going to be as much of a challenge as choosing one.

I sighed while randomly taking an owl picture frame from display, examining it a bit before setting it down again. Man, I should've invited the others, too. Saru and Washio were great at picking stuff, and Komiyan sometimes could have some really fantastic gift ideas. And then there was you... Hmm. You know what, I'd never gone present-hunting with you before, maybe I should've invited you to find out. Plus, there was a new cafe downstairs that I thought you'd like—

Huh.

"Akaashi?"

"Hello, Konoha-san," you greeted, lowering your head a bit at my startled face. "I was about to surprise you but it seemed that you've caught me before I could," you said in almost a monotone voice and face, and for some reason I felt a slight change in temperature in my cheeks.

"Well, you could've done a better job at it than walking directly in front of my eyes, you know," I said while shaking my head, chuckling. "Man, I was actually just thinking of you," I said. ...Wait, I said _what_? What was with that lame pick-up line-like sentence? I almost facepalmed to myself.

"Oh?" was your short reply, face piquing with interest. Oh well, I'd said it and there was no harm in telling the truth altogether.

"Yeah well, there's a cafe downstairs that I thought you'd like," I answered, stuffing my hands to my pockets. "I remember you said you like coffee, right? I heard their espresso's really good."

"I do, I do like a good cup of coffee," you replied with a small smile that made the fingers in my pockets moving uneasily. "What are you doing here today, Konoha-san?"

"Huh? Ah, nothing, just walking around aimlessly," I answered with a snicker. "And I guess I'll buy something for Bokuto if I can find something... Well, if I can choose something, I mean. There's too many stuff to choose from in this place."

"Ah," you said, letting out a soft chuckle. "He was pretty passive aggressive about it last practice, wasn't he?"

"Yeaaaah, he was like that last year, too. And it's gonna be such a pain if he sulks, man," I replied with an annoyed huff, scratching the back of my head. "Well, you know best, don't you."

You chuckled a little more. "I unfortunately do."

I smiled as I saw the last traces of your chuckles, smiling myself while pulling my other hand out of my pocket. "And you? What are you doing here?"

"My mother asked me to get some cakes," you said, holding up a white box with some words that I assumed to be French on it. "And like you, I was wandering around to see if there's anything Bokuto-san would like."

"Damn that guy, making us waste our precious weekend like this," I said, immediately letting out a laughter, which you followed with a smile. "Since we're looking for the same thing, you wanna go around together, then? We can go to the coffee place too later if you want."

You nodded slightly. "That sounds reasonable. And yes, I would like that."

I wondered if my grin was a little too wide for the rest of that day.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_"Guess who's going out with Wakana-chan now~"_

_"...What?! But you—how?!"_

_"I told you I gave her a chocolate on Valentine's Day, right? She returned it today and said yes to my confession."_

_"That—you—well, damn it. Congrats, Komiyan. Damn it."_

_"Which one is it..."_

I let out a long sigh remembering the conversation I had before practice earlier. Maaan. Okay, it wasn't like I was jealous or anything, okay? It's just that I kind of wanted to have a girlfriend too, hey, we were high schoolers, of course we wanted something like that. Okay, maybe I was a _bit_ jealous. Well I did have a girlfriend in second grade, but it ended as quick as it started. She'd been the one who confessed to me, and at the time I didn't have anyone I liked, so I said yes. Long story short, a little more than a month later, she'd said she couldn't compete with volleyball for me, so she wanted to break up. What was that all about...

Speaking of confessions, someone actually had confessed to me last month, on Valentine's Day nevertheless! Man, that was a high school boy's dream. That was, but unfortunately my circumstances were different than one and a half years ago. It would be unfair for her if I accepted her confession while I had someone else I was interested in, so I ended up saying no... Aaaah, now that I thought of it again, what a waste...! I wouldn't have to feel this way right now had I said yes to her... I wouldn't have to mope around my three years of high school of barely having any romance going on... That was what I thought, but I knew if I'd gone back to that time again right now, my answer would still be the same. Sigh.

"Oh, it's Konoha-san. What are you doing at this kind of place?"

I turned my head absentmindedly to the voice. Oh. It was you. "I'm moping. What are _you_ doing at this kind of place?"

"Moping?" you asked, face confused as you walked closer toward me. "I just finished locking up and I thought I heard someone behind the gym, so I went to see."

"'S that so," I answered, shifting my position to the side when you looked like you were going to sit beside me. You eyed me closely as you sat down, visibly curious of what I'd said earlier, and I almost laughed at your expression and curiosity. I let out a loud sigh instead. "I can't believe that Komiyan got a girlfriend..."

You chuckled immediately, the confusion and slight worry you had dissolved into a relieved smile. It seemed that you were expecting completely something else. "Well, Komi-san has liked her for quite some time, hasn't he? So it's a happy ending."

"Yeaaaah," I said, letting out another sigh, leaning forward a little. "But, you know, _that_ Komiyan! It's so frustrating that he gets a girlfriend before I do!"

Your chuckle, for some reason, slowly faded off after I said that, and your face went back to your usual expressionless look. I glanced at you curiously. Huh, what happened there? You looked like you wanted to say something, and I continued to stare without saying anything before you did. "Didn't a girl give you a chocolate on Valentine's Day?"

...Wait, huh. What? Did I tell you about it? No, I didn't, I was sure I didn't tell anyone, not even Komiyan. So how did you know about it? Did you by any chance know the girl? But she was someone from my grade and was rather a quiet one, it would be strange if you knew her, though not impossible. Or did you happen to pass by and see it, by any chance? That seemed to be a more plausible explanation... Ah, whichever it was, that was considerate of you to not bring it up around me. Well, until now, at least.

"Yeah, but... Yeah," I replied vaguely, deciding not to ask how exactly you'd known about it while not really giving a response to your question either. There was no way I could answer that. "How 'bout you?" I tried to steer away from the topic, catching your gaze. It seemed like the question caught you off-guard as you looked a bit surprised by it.

"Sorry?" you voiced out your confusion. I glanced at you and couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

"How about you? Don't you want a girlfriend or some sort?" I asked, my fingers mindlessly reaching the fabric of my trousers, playing with it. "It's frustrating but you're insanely popular y'know, Akaashi-kun? Even girls in my class know about you."

You seemed reluctant for a bit before answering, "I don't know. I guess I've never really thought about it." I let out a quiet scoff.

"Uwah, there it is. The popular guy's catchphrase, 'I've never thought about girls or romance'," I said, shaking my head with a snort, leaning forward to give you some light smacks on the shoulder. Damn, this kid! You scratched the back of your ear for a moment, seemingly unsure of what to say next.

"Well, I've just... never gone out with someone before," you answered finally, eyeing my reaction, and I gave you a raised eyebrow and fastened blinks. Huh. Interesting. Akaashi Keiji, second year of high school, a pretty popular guy, had never gone out with someone before. I felt the edges of my lips curving into a grin. Heeeh. That so. Never gone out with someone, huh. Maybe I shall tease you a bit.

"Well," I started, there were nothing but mischievous glints in my eyes, and it looked like you noticed them too as your lips were starting to form a frown in response. But I knew, I knew what those glints were actually trying to hide, what my smirk was wanting to conceal. I could feel my heart thumping against the calm, playful facade I was pulling as I gripped the the side of my trousers. "You wanna try it with me, then?"

Yeah, I only said it to mess with you. I knew that. But still, I really hoped you didn't notice the slight tremble in my sing-song tone afterward as I asked, "You're single, I'm single, what do you say we go out together, you and me~?"

I knew what you'd answer with. 'What are you talking about, Konoha-san', or 'don't joke about something like that.' Oh, or would it be 'are you that desperate for a significant other, Konoha-san'? Whichever it was, I was looking forward to it.

After spending almost two years as teammates together, you would've thought I'd known better than expecting a normal, predictable answer from you.

 

 


	2. Akaashi Keiji

 

You might not be the first one who talked to me the first time I stepped into the gym (it was Bokuto-san, followed by Komi-san, and then it was a blur), but you were the first whom I shared a laugh with that day.

"Hello there!" you said after I successfully pulled myself out of Bokuto-san's lack of personal space by pinpointing him into another batch of fresh members. Oh, another senpai... "Sorry to tell you this on your first day, but he's just going to get worse after this," you said, and I carefully eyed you as you walked closer. That was quite an unusual thing to say to someone you were meeting for the first time, and for a second I wondered if there was anything else you'd really meant by that.

"I can sort of sense it," I decided to say, my voice was almost toneless it had always been, and immediately chuckles escaped your lips. I felt my lips curl into a frown. That reply was not meant to be funny, I really meant it—the guy practically hugged me within the first ten seconds of meeting, I could only imagine how he would be like the next years we were going to spend together. But judging by your reaction, I thought his closeness, albeit overwhelming, was probably harmless.

"You won't know the end of it," you added, a trace of amusement still lingering in a soft sigh you let out. I was observing you for a moment when you turned to look at me one more time, your grin widening. "So, you're a new member, huh..." you trailed off, examining me slowly from toe to head, and to tell you the truth it was making me a little uncomfortable. I pressed my thumb to my clenched fists... Oh. Thank goodness it didn't take very long. "I'm Konoha, second year wing spiker. Welcome to the team!" you introduced yourself with a smile on your lips, almost a beam.

Your words were slowly fading out the uncomfortable feeling I'd had just now, but still I couldn't help but trying to read beyond that smiling face of yours. "I'm Akaashi Keiji and I play as a setter. Please take care of me from now on."

"A setter? Nice," you said, the pupils that were almost hidden behind your eyelids when you were smiling were now visible again as your eyes slightly widened. "After Minami-senpai graduated, our only setter right now is Shimano-san. Ah, that's him, by the way." You paused to point to a black-haired guy around my height at the other side of the gym. Ah, so that was what Bokuto-san and the others were trying to tell me, I couldn't really catch it as they were all talking all at the same time. Bokuto-san's voice, although louder and clearer than the others', was rather incoherent in content. "Anyway, he's a third-year so he's graduating next year, and we have no setter in our grade, so!" Ah, your pupils were gone into your smile again when you were extending your hand for a handshake. "Give me lots of good tosses from now on 'kay, Akaashi-kun?"

I stared at you for one second, thinking it was a bit unusual for a high-schooler in the same team to offer a handshake on a first meeting. But well, it wasn't unheard of, and it definitely beat being half-embraced from behind, so I reached to your palm with mine, feeling your hand gripping mine immediately after. Surprisingly, it was a lot less awkward than I thought it would be.

"Akaashi! Hey! Akaashi, right?!" Just as I was retreating my hand, I heard Bokuto-san yelling from across the gym, though it sounded like he was beside my ears. "You said you're a setter right? Come toss for me!"

"Oi Bokuto, practice hasn't started yet!"

"Exactly why I want to warm up!" he replied before turned his face to me again. "C'mon Akaashi! Komiyan will help us throwing the balls!"

"Why am I dragged into this?!"

I hadn't even said yes, and it looked like Komi-san hadn't agreed to it either. But mysteriously I didn't feel so opposed to the idea, and it seemed like neither did Komi-san. Although groaning, he was jogging toward the side of the net, a brown-haired girl (the manager, I assumed?) pushing a cart full of balls to where Komi-san was heading. I sighed shortly, turning my head to you. "Sorry, I guess duty calls," I said. The amusement in your grin hadn't disappeared from the the moment I set my eyes on you.

"Good luck. And a word of advice, don't try to tire him out. You'll lose."

You probably didn't see it, but I was smiling when I turned around, walking toward the louder wing spiker.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The chilly wind teased a taste of winter when I closed the clubhouse's door, sending a tiny shiver up my nape. It was December, the spring preliminaries were over half a month ago, and after being promoted to a second-string member, I couldn't wait to get to stand on the Nationals stage. Granted, I would only sit on the bench as Shimano-san would be the main setter throughout the tournament like he'd been in inter-high and the preliminaries. But the thought of participating even as a reserve player in Nationals was exciting, although I had been told that it wasn't really showing in my face.

It was twenty minutes after practice was over, I had cleanup duty and stayed behind than the rest of the team. Musing of what I should do once I got home, I was about to take a left turn to the school gate when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned my head to find you standing chipper with your usual wide grin.

"Yo, Akaashi!"

"Konoha-san," I said, lowering my head a bit in acknowledgement. "Is something the matter?" I asked, and a sigh left your lips. Huh? Did I do something?

"You didn't say today's your birthday!" you replied with a mixed of a pout and a grin (to this day, I still don't know how you make that face). My eyes widened a bit, surprised that you knew about it. Honestly, I didn't even remember until my mother greeted me this morning. "It's written in the member directory, and Suzumeda happened to remember it when we were in the clubhouse just now," you added as if you could read my mind. Oh.

"I didn't think it was important," I answered shortly. You fell silent for a moment and I looked at you questioningly before you began chuckling.

"Man, that's kinda harsh," you voiced out from between your smirk. I had to furrow my eyebrows with a slight tilt on my head, confused.

"Harsh?" I asked. "Why?"

"'Why'... We're friends, aren't we?" you responded, sighing and shaking your head with an amused grin. It was my favorite expression of yours. "Anyway, if you have time, me and the others are going to Tetsuya"—Bokuto-san's favorite beef bowl restaurant, or so I'd heard—"It's just us having some beef bowls and giving Bokuto a Heimlich maneuver when he chokes on meat as usual, but if you're coming we can call it your birthday party or something."

Well. I wasn't due at home until 7, and I figured a beef bowl or three would be a good post-practice and pre-dinner meal. Besides, it would be impolite to refuse a senpai, and I was quite... happy by the invitation.

(I would later regret that decision because it turned out Bokuto-san was an expert at choking on his food and the accidents that ensued might or might not include one where you accidentally held my hand for a few seconds. It actually felt nice.)

 

 

* * *

 

 

My first official match shouldn't be in another 6 months.

Shimano-senpai would be the team's main setter for the Spring Nationals, his and the third-years' last tournament. I had all the determination to watch him closely and learn from his plays, to burn the images of the match into my mind so I could grow better in our next tournament.

That was how it was supposed to be.

But in the last set, a ball was spiked right to Shimano-senpai's head when he was blocking. He did say he was fine, but the coach wouldn't take a risk.

So before I knew it, the umpire blew his whistle and I stood by him while holding up the number 5 with my right hand. Yes, number 5 was to be replaced by number 13 on the court. Number 5 was Shimano-san's number. 13 was mine, but it didn't feel like it was. Everything was such a blur. I didn't know what was happening.

It's okay, I told myself although my mind was not completely there. It's okay, I've been practicing.

But the first step I took toward that line was unnerving. I felt naked, like the whole world was watching me, which I knew was logically impossible. I felt a shiver down my spine, and drops of cold sweat trailed down my neck. I hadn't even played yet. I hadn't even reached the court yet. It felt like my feet weren't my own. My hands were surprisingly not shaking, but I could feel the tips of my fingers slowly turning cold.

"Akaashi!" It was Sarukui-san's sudden yell from behind the reserve line that snapped me back to reality, and I turned my head in what I felt like a slow motion. I saw Sarukui-san's smile, the smile that I'd always thought was comforting but never as much as it was right now. I stared at him for a while, feeling the beat of my heart thumping faster as I waited for his words. "Have fun~" was his exact words. I didn't even realize that my eyes were shooting open when I heard them.

"Yeah, Akaashi!" It was Komi-san's voice I'd heard next. "Go out there and go wild!"

I stared at both of them, then to the court where Bokuto-san, Washio-san, and the third years were standing on. The drumming in my chest from worry and fear hadn't disappeared, but a new feeling arose within me—a feeling of desire, a burning to play, to support this amazing team, my amazing teammates to move further forward. I stood there, one foot in in front of the other, fists clenched. This was going to come sooner or later, I was gonna play in an official match sooner or later. Getting to experience this earlier is a blessing, getting to play on the same court with the third-years was an honor, and I should embrace it with all my might.

Standing on the court amidst everyone's "do your best, Akaashi!", I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds before my ears caught your voice. At that moment, the others' voices sounded like a blur to amplify yours, and to my surprise, the feeling of nervousness I still had was slowly but surely being swept away.

I had no idea why, but if the other seniors' encouragement had lit a fire within me, yours overwhelmed me with a sense of security. I was still nervous, of course, but the feeling was losing against the comfort of your voice and the cheering of others.

Taking a deep, long breath, I curved a small smile to myself.

Let's have some fun.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Akaashi?" A familiar voice called me while in the middle of doing a stack of paperwork, well half a stack because I was already done with the other half by now.

"Oh, Konoha-san," I replied, turning my head toward the door, eyes following your movement as I leaned my back on the chair. "Didn't you go home half an hour ago?"

"I talked with my friends in the baseball club for a bit, then I realized I might've left a textbook here," you replied, walking toward your locker. You opened the door, letting out a seemingly random whistle while you peeked inside. "Ah, yep, here it is~" you said rather cheerfully as you took a book titled 'Math III' out, skimming the pages over and nodding to yourself afterward. You closed the door, continuing your whistle shortly as you walked toward me. "You're not going home yet?"

"Still got some club paperwork," I answered, pointing to the papers on the table. You hummed shortly before dragging a chair toward me, sitting face-to-face in front of me. What were you doing? I thought you were only getting that book that you'd found now?

"Shouldn't Bokuto do that? Or help you do that, at least."

I shrugged at your question. "He did offer, but I figured it would be faster if I did it myself," I replied, finishing up the last few letters of the current page I was working on before piling it to the finished stack. A loud scoff was heard from your direction, followed by a quite a long series of laughter. I stopped before I even began writing on the next page, my face subtly confused.

"Aaah, I don't expect anything less from you," you said, still chuckling with a soft sigh mixed in. That chuckle of yours was contagious, I swear, I'd always found myself smiling into it even when I didn't fully understand what was going on.

"What's that supposed to mean."

You let out the last traces of your chuckle, one arm rested against the wooden table, the other running through your blonde hair, or as you'd mentioned to me once, glazed sandy blonde hair. I'd never told you this before, but I'd always thought that color suited you so well. It wasn't completely blonde, it had a touch of beige that balanced out the bright color; not too much but not too little, it was just right. Your hair was the perfect complement to your fox-like eyes and smile, enhancing both the sense of the playfulness of your lips and the mystery of your eyes. I was amazed at how you made it work.

"Nothing, just..." Your next words blurred my thoughts as I listened in closely, curious of what you may say. "Just... Ah, Akaashi is Akaashi, huh."

I raised an eyebrow at the anticlimactic answer, but the small snort and curls at the edge of my lips betrayed my attempt to let you know how disappointed I was with the reply. "I'm not sure if I should be happy or not hearing that."

"Be happy 'cause it's a compliment," you said, leaning forward to the table, taking the last paper I had just worked on, nodding your head while skimming at the words written. I wasn't sure how to respond to that, but the curve on my lips widened before I could think of a reaction. It seemed like you were already moving from the topic, though, because the next thing you said was, "How long are you gonna finish all of this?"

I looked at the papers in my hand, flipping them to count how many I still had left. Oh, there actually weren't that many left. "Twenty minutes, half an hour at most," I answered after I was done counting, turning my head to you.

You let out a long "heeeh" as you put the paper back to its pile, then continued with, "Then I shall accompany my cute junior until he's done." Huh? I raised my eyebrows watching you putting your math book into your bag and pulling out a white smartphone out of your pocket.

"What? No you don't have to—"

"Don't worry, it's not like I'm gonna help you or anything," you cut my words as you looked at me from behind your phone screen, grinning. "I'm just gonna be here doing my thing, you can even pretend I'm not here," you added as your attention went back to your phone, thumb scrolling the display while sparing me glances and a smirk. "But well, you know, if there's anything I can do, let me know."

I stayed silent for a moment, looking at you doing exactly as you'd said you would, just sitting there doing your own thing. I was used to spending some time in the clubhouse by myself—to tell you the truth, I was actually more comfortable that way. As much as I liked spending time with the team, there were times I liked to stay behind and be by myself, and doing paperwork or homework there without any distractions was one of my personal relaxation method. But oddly enough, I wasn't very opposed to the idea of you being there with me today. For one I knew it was one of your 'senpai pride' moments where you wanted to be there for a junior of yours, and I truly appreciated the sentiment. For the other, well... I guessed I'd just kind of always liked your presence around me.

"Alright, then," I replied, feeling a subtle, barely visible burning on my cheeks as I shifted my gaze back to the papers.

"Good, a junior should let himself be spoiled by his senior."

"I'm not sure if this counts as spoiling..."

We really did spend the next half an hour doing our own things, me filling out and calculating things while you were messaging with your seem to be endless list of friends. Almost no words were exchanged aside from you sometimes letting out small chuckles and telling me twice about a guy in your class named 'Ken-chan', and me asking you one or two things I needed to write on the report I was working on. It was such a mundane moment, such a trivial one, yet time had never flown so fast for me before.

 

 

* * *

 

 

One thing a setter always notices before others—even before the coach—is when spikers aren't on their best condition.

It was the very last week of May, by now I was a second-year and you were a third-year, both of us had been appointed as starters for inter-high. After hours of both practice and outside-school activities we and our team spent together, I knew you a little bit too well. I knew how you sneakily set aside daikon in your dishes whenever we ate out. I knew you always noticed it when people changed their appearance—hairstyles, trims, small accessories—and always made sure to comment on them. I knew how you always volunteered to take down the nets after practice because you didn't like having to go all around the gym to collect the balls. I knew exactly the sound your arm made when it came in contact with my tosses.

It hadn't been sounding like that today.

At first, I thought it was just one bad spike, because let's face it, we all have a few bad balls a day no matter how good our conditions are. But then the next one was like that. And the next. And the next. By the seventh toss, I knew something was wrong.

Finding you outside absentmindedly showering your face with tap water only made me more sure.

"Konoha-san," I called you while walking closer. You looked up, your face wet with sweat and tap water, and turned the faucet off.

"Oh, Akaashi. What's up?" you asked, your grin might look like normal but nothing could hide that slight hesitation in your voice.

"Is something the matter?" I asked without missing a beat.

You looked surprised at the question, but then letting out a chuckle that sounded a bit too forced to my ears. "What's that? Nothing's the matter, all's good!" I frowned at your answer.

"Please don't lie, Konoha-san, I know you're pretty good at lying but those spikes aren't," I said firmly, and the grin on your lips narrowed. I watched your body freezing for a split second as you fell into a short silence, and all I could think about was how to let you know that I only wanted to help you. You were the one who told me that we were 'friends', and although I hadn't thought of it much when you'd said it, it was a word that I'd treasured and held dear now. But a word was just a word that had no meaning if one didn't make an effort to support the other, right? "I don't really want to butt into things that are not my business, but if there's anything I could do—"

"I'm okay," you cut me, to my surprise. That sealed my lips back again, and I stood there silent to listen to you. "I don't have things in my mind or anything, honest, my studies are fine, my family is fine, my social life is fine—well I could use a girlfriend or something I guess but—" you paused for a chuckle, and in that split second of pause I thought ah, how very characteristic of you to say something like that in the middle of something serious like this. "Well, I don't have an excuse for how bad I've been all day today... Which makes this super lame now, huh?"

I stayed silent after you finished your words, my mind quickly working on what to say. I knew exactly what you meant, it had happened to me more times than I'd like, and I knew it had happened to the others as well. What should I say, though? I knew how frustrating it could be, and how hard it was to take in others' words when I was in that state. I hesitantly brought my gaze back to your face, your eyes clearly avoiding mine when you started to turn your body around. I took a short yet deep breath, hoping to stop you.

"We all have that moment," I said carefully while waited for your reaction. I saw your shoulders tensing a little as you halted mid-turn, looking at me. "I do, too." I paused for another breath. "Sometimes... Sometimes I just don't seem to know how to toss. Other times I can, but it just doesn't feel right. There doesn't have to be a reason. I guess our bodies just... do that."

You laughed bitterly. "Well, yeah, but—"

"Even Bokuto-san," I cut before you could say anything else. "Even Bokuto-san has those moments, and don't tell me you don't know that."

You fell silent for a little while, your eyes started to widen as you opened your mouth a little, but no words came out. You shut it close again, lips forming a sheepish grin. You may not notice it, but I was letting out a quiet, relieved sigh when you said, "Yeah. Yeah, you're right, though it kinda hurts me to think I have whatever Bokuto has." I let out a chuckle when you snorted at your own words. "But yeah... You're right. Thanks, Akaashi."

You were at your top condition at inter-high a week later.

 

 

* * *

 

 

You weren't exactly a popular guy at school, but I knew there were a couple of girls who seemed to have taken a liking of you.

I knew this because I'd visited you in your class multiple times as a vice captain of the club, and during my stays I'd noticed the same girl more than a few times—I didn't know if you yourself noticed it, though. There was also another face that sometimes I'd seen appearing in both official and practice matches, having her eyes fixed on you every time I glanced at her both accidentally and on purpose.

That was why it didn't surprise me at all when I caught a sight of one of them handing you something that looked like a box of chocolate on Valentine's Day (a word of advice, any area around any of the gym's doors wasn't exactly a good place for private meetings when there was a practice going on in the gym). I was frozen in place for half a second before I turned my body, eyes blinking in a much faster pace as I stepped back inside the gym, my fingers restless.

Sarukui-san, Washio-san, and even you asked if I'd been alright half an hour after practice resumed. I said everything was fine and I was sorry if I seemed to be distracted and disturbed the rhythm of today's practice. Every one of you said it was fine and told me not to push myself. All I could say was thank you and another apology.

After all, there was no way I could answer you honestly, was there?

 

 

* * *

 

 

"I can't believe that Komiyan got a girlfriend..."

Seeing the increasingly dropping shoulders in front of me, I couldn't help but let out a chuckle at your musing and the slight frown you had right now. When you'd told me earlier that you were moping about something, I'd thought you had something you were troubled with, like a problem with a friend or a teacher, so hearing that actually made me feel a little relieved. "Well, Komi-san has liked her for quite some time, hasn't he? It's a happy ending."

"Yeaaaah," you dragged out your reply as you leaned forward a little. "But, you know, _that_ Komiyan! It's so frustrating that he gets a girlfriend before I do!"

My chuckle slowly faded as I started to feel... restless. I remembered what I saw last month, a few meters from where we were sitting right now—it _had_ been a confession, right? It looked too much like one. I mean, if you had really wanted a girlfriend, you could've gone out with her. I was curious, I was dying to know, but would it be appropriate to ask about it? I felt your stare at me, seemingly waiting for me to say something. Should I? But before my mind could decide, my lips had started to move by themselves. By the time I realized what they were doing, it was too late for me to stop, "Didn't a girl give you a chocolate on Valentine's Day?"

Ah, I'd really say it, I really hoped I wasn't going out of line. I turned my head to you just in time when you turned yours to me, your eyes were shooting open in surprise. ...Oh. Right, you hadn't known that I knew about it. I felt a gulp running down my throat as the temperature of my cheeks rose; I was nervous to wait for your answer, yes, but at the same time I was distracted by the look of your fringe covering half of your eye. There was something different in your eyes right now, an expression that I had never seen before, something between melancholy and bitterness with a dash of scornfulness, all of them wrapped up inside a smile and a pair of eyes full of emotions. It was strange, but I felt like it was impossible to look away once that look was within my sight.

"Yeah, but... Yeah." Your words snapped me back to our conversation, although they were barely answering my question. You leaned your back to the wall and crossed your legs, tilting your head toward mine with a small smile on your lips. Ah. Had you rejected her? I pulled my legs back and leaned my chest forward, burying the lower half of my face inside my own arms, a small sense of relief bloomed within me. I see, so you'd rejected her... "How 'bout you?"

My mind not currently present, your question caught me completely off-guard. Huh? How about me what? "Sorry?" You chuckled.

"How about you? Don't you want a girlfriend or some sort?" you clarified your question, the smile you were pulling looked rather bitter. "It's frustrating but you're insanely popular y'know, Akaashi-kun? Even girls in my class know about you."

Huh... Huh. Well, I'd be completely lying if I'd said I'd never noticed a few girls looking at me, both from afar and from up close, but well, "I don't know. I guess I've never really thought about it," I answered truthfully. The scoff you let out afterward almost offended me.

"Uwah, there it is. The popular guy's catchphrase, 'I've never thought about girls or romance'," you said, shaking your head in an expression of disbelief while giving my shoulders light smacks. It was actually something I'd never quite understood, most of my friends who were about the same age seemed to be obsessed by the idea of romance. Not that I'd say I didn't know how it felt like wanting affection from a person, I just didn't see the reason one obsessed so much to be wanted by more than one person. Maybe it was because I was inexperienced in this... Actually, the idea of being 'experienced' in this sense didn't really appeal to me. What would I gain from being experienced at this when all I wanted was only one certain someone?

"Well, I've just... never gone out with someone before," was what I'd decided to reply with, my hand scratched the back of my ear before reaching to rub the shoulder you'd just smacked. It felt warm, like your touch was still lingering there.

As soon as I'd said that, a sudden glint sparkled inside your eyes. Your lips formed a mischievous smirk, one that I knew was up to no good, and I could only guess what it would be again this time. "Well," you started, and I stared at you with an expression that showed how unwilling I was to listen to whatever you were going to say next. "You wanna try it with me, then?" See, that was what I th—what. _What_? "You're single, I'm single, what do you say we go out together, you and me?"

The grin on your face completely stated that it was a joke. I knew that, I _knew_ that, but I just stared at you in what seemed like fifteen whole minutes without blinking my eyes, the heat on my cheeks was probably not visible but nevertheless it was there.

What came out from my mouth surprised you and me both,

"Sure."

I felt every muscle in my body stiffen, the tips of my fingers inside my clenched fists grew colder by every passing second. My eyes widened while my mind began panicking at the slow realization of what I had said. Oh good lord, why would I say that? From the very start, you had always been different for me, I'd always known that, but that was not something to say in such a light-hearted conversation like this! It was alright, though, it was alright, you were the one who'd started it after all. All I had to do now was just to counter it with something like 'did you really think I would say that' with a face that people had always told me as expressionless. Yes, perfect, we shall go with that.

But as soon as I was about to open my mouth to say it, my eyes caught something that halted those words from leaving my lips. The look on your face. The surprise in your eyes, in your slightly-opening mouth. Of course, everyone would be surprised if a joke like that got that kind of reply. But what I noticed was not only that surprise. It was mixed in with confusion, and... Was that a tint of blush on your face I noticed?

You looked like you were both waiting for me to say I was joking and struggling to find a reply. When seconds passed and it looked like you were starting to get restless that I wasn't going to give you the answer you'd expected, you started panicking, "Ah, ahahaha, Akaashi, please don't joke with such a serious face! People can misunderstand."

Hearing the fluster in your voice, a smile shaped my lips. I changed my answer.

"I'm not kidding."

The look on your face was something I would never forget in my life.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Bump of Chicken's [St. Elmo's Fire](http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm21988764).


End file.
